I Did It

   Wow, fellow bloggers, it has been a long time since I've had a break to sit down and write. Between my two jobs and taking time to work on my own writing, it's been a crazy few months. Now as I sit here a few days before a new year, I can finally say I have accomplished one of my biggest goals. In the next few days my first book, Saving Tate, will be available as an ebook on the Barnes and Noble website. I'd been contemplating getting it ready for self-publishing as an ebook but the idea really took hold when for Christmas this year Santa brought me my very own NookColor! And then it snowballed but only in my head because it's still 50 degrees in the good old Midwest. No white Christmas for us.
   With my sister's help with the cover and editing my writing, I submitted my book today and it will be available in the next 24-72 hours for sale. Saving Tate is the first in the six-book Carolina Carlyles series. As I reread Saving Tate the past few months, I found myself laughing and crying but I was afraid I was too close to the characters so I asked my sister to read it for me. It was when she asked me in the middle of the night for the next chapter that I realized that maybe my dream didn't have to just be a dream, that maybe I could really make this happen. Hopefully others will fall in love with the Carlyle family like my sister and I have. The second book, Touch 'em All, is still being written and when I have an idea for release date I'll definitely let you know.
   So, to those of you who have bought Saving Tate and are connecting with me that way, thank you so much and welcome to my little corner of the world. Happy New Year to everyone and I'll be back soon.


My Little Bookshelf: I'm about to start reading Head Over Heels by Jill Shalvis, third in her Lucky Harbor Series. Also, I read an ebook titled Bridleton by Becky Barker which I definitely recommend. I've got a list of all her books now so I'll start working on those. And finally, book 12 in the Rough Rider Series by Lorelei James, Cowboy Casanova, has taken residence in my Nook for my reading enjoyment.

I win this round, Mother Nature.

            There’s nothing I love more than soaking up water at 1am. It’s storming and I just happened to notice water seeping under my door. It turned into a flood so now towels are lying out in hopes of gathering whatever water is coming in. Nothing got damaged, thank goodness, and it was more a hassle than anything. But we had a fun towel party in my room in the middle of the night. And it helped keep my mind off tomorrow, or today actually.

            I finally have an interview for a big-girl job. Yay!! But I’m nervous.
I hate interviews and trying to “sell” myself to the employer. I don’t want to give generic answers to questions but it is sometimes hard to come up with great answers on the fly. So here I sit at almost 3am, not able to sleep because I keep running through things to make sure I say tomorrow. I want this job and it seems like it’d be a great fit in my life. I guess I just need to suck it up and let the chips fall where they may. And since I’ve resorted to clichés, my work here is done as soon as I update my bookshelf. I’m not currently reading anything so I’ll list the last few books I’ve read.

            My Little Bookshelf:  A Creed in Stone Creek by Linda Lael Miller; Savor the Danger by Lori Foster; and Only Mine by Susan Mallery

            These ladies are always "must reads" for me and I love all their stories.

            With that, goodnight from my little corner, where I’m holding the fort down with a makeshift raft, just in case the floodgates open again.

           

Meandering down the road of life

            I don’t know if I believe in fate. I do know that the choices we make take us on a journey but is the destination pre-determined? Am I single with no prospects because that’s the plan or did I take a wrong turn? I’ve never liked having religion shoved down my throat and that is a whole other topic for another day. But my mother always tells me that God is preparing the man I’m going to marry. I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse. He really needs that much preparation?

            I find that while I have a general idea of where I want to end up in my life, some people have taken exception to the road I have chosen to travel. And that bothers me. I have a college degree in a topic that has always interested me because at 20 years old, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I don’t think we should expect kids to make that kind of decision. Look at the number of people who choose a career path, get their degree and then a few years in they hate what they are doing.

            I know what I want and it seems simple enough. I want to write, hopefully someday be published. I want to get married to the love of my life. I’m a hopeless romantic. And I hope that there really is someone out there for everyone, otherwise I have a long road ahead of unfulfilled dreams.

And I really want to be a mother. It’s been hard this last year being around my niece every day because it made me realize how badly I want to be a mother. When I say I want a baby, people always have an opinion. The one that bothers me the most is when they say “No, you don’t. They are a lot of work.” Really? I had no idea.

            I’m not a moron and I know how much work and energy being a parent requires. I also know that I was born to be a mother. But I don’t want to be a mother alone. I want someone to share that with, to take turns, to turn to when it just seems like a little too much for one person to handle.

I asked my sister the other day where is my guy? When’s it going to be my turn? Why should my personal choice to not sleep around stop me from finding that special someone? (Although the last was said in less delicate terms but we’ll make it a little nicer.) And I know it’s hard for anyone to answer those questions because it’s almost impossible for me.

            Then I think that maybe I’m hiding in my books and in the stories I have created. But can you blame me? Cheating and lying, backstabbing and rumors, innuendos and games are what a lot of relationships seem to be about. I know there are good relationships out there and I’m not jaded but I’m terrified. And sometimes I just get sad. It’s those sad days that are the hardest. The ones where I just want someone to talk to or lean on, someone to hold my hand or kiss my head, to have someone there so I know I’m not alone in this big, scary world. But all you can really do is sit and wait, live and hope, laugh and dream.

            So here I sit, in my little corner, waiting, living, hoping, laughing and always, always dreaming, that one day my turn will come.

Every day

Hello all. I am working on my next post. I know it's been a while but life got busy. In the meantime, here is something I wrote for my creative writing class in college. It seemed to fit my mood today.  See you again soon in my little corner.

Same as Yesterday

Birds calling out a different day, people waking,

Rushed yet bored- how do I explain it?

See words move across a page,

Those words change but the story is the same.

Light fades, goes out and yet still I sit

Lost in someone else’s world, hiding, hoping,

Dreaming of my own happy ending. Will it ever come?

Will my dreams come true? Will I one day be the

Story instead of the audience?

I watch the world go by, birth, life, death.

Stuck inside one of my own design, not taking

Chances, going through the motions.

Owls signal the end of the day,

People sleeping, dreaming.

Was today the day, did I miss it?

Or was it the same as yesterday?

Jobs, Scams and Happy Endings...

            I swore to myself I wouldn’t use this blog as a place to complain about things, but I’m honestly confused. Why is it so hard for a college-educated, responsible adult to find a decent paying job? I’ve been out of college for 2 years and have yet to find a job opportunity that will pay me for the years I spent furthering my education. It seems I’d be better off if I hadn’t wracked up the student loan debt for my degree which I’m not using right now in my current position as a waitress.

            And that’s another thing. Yes, I’m a waitress but that does not equate to being a moron. You don’t have to talk to me like I’m stupid and point to things. You don’t have to say things over and over again to make sure I understand. Even the other day I mentioned to someone that I was considering going back to school for a Masters and this lady’s head spun around so fast I thought I was watching The Exorcist. Shocking, I’m not an idiot. Who knew?

            I thought I found some pretty decent job postings online yesterday and decided to email my resume. Both appear now to be scams and I’m wondering how many people are actually going to fall for them. I guess I’m just not a deceptive or devious person because I can’t understand what would possess someone to try to con someone who just needs to pay the bills out of the very money they need to survive. It all just makes me a little sad.

            Ok then, on to other things…I’ve decided to add a new element to My Little Corner called My Little Bookshelf. I’ll let you all know what I’m reading now and who some of my favorites are. I’m hoping to hear from some readers to find out what you all are reading, maybe give me some new ideas about what to read next. It seems like it might be fun so I'll give it a shot.

  My Little Bookshelf :   Chasin’ Eight by Lorelei James, eBook version

            This series of books, the Rough Riders series, is a little steamier than normal romances but the men are so darn attractive. Chasin’ Eight is the 11^th book in the series and I’m always excited for the next one. I know I can always count on Ms. James for a good read and a happy ending.

            So, from my little corner, I wish you all a good night and many happy endings.

           

           

The Writer's Dilemma

            Every writer knows starting is the hardest. Choosing where and when to begin can lead to some very agonizing moments where you second-guess yourself and the story you intend to write. But for some of us writing seems to be the only way to release the ideas and dialogue, the plot twists and happy endings that float around inside our heads. I know, I know. It makes us sound a little crazy. And truthfully, maybe we are. Who else but crazy people has a two-sided conversation in their head then puts it down on paper?

            Sadly, in the one creative writing class I took in college, I was told I had the most natural and smooth dialogue my professor had seen in a long time. Thinking back to the crazy discussion, I’m not sure how I feel about that. I also know that at least for me, and probably a lot of the writers around the world, there will be nights when these conversations or a certain plot twist will keep me awake. I keep a notebook by my bed for this very reason; to expel the idea enough that I can sleep on it and come up with new ones. It seems to work for me.

            For a writer, and I mean all writers not just those lucky enough to be published, the goal is for others to read your work, to take into themselves the words you spent days, months, years slaving over and perfecting. But that is the most terrifying part. Because you spent so long and put so much of yourself into those words it’s petrifying to hand them over to someone else so they can judge you.

            We as writers are our own worst critics. And I do use the word writer to describe me even though that isn’t what pays the bills. I once heard somewhere, and I wish I could remember so I could attribute it correctly, that when you wake up in the morning, notice the first thing you want to, have to do. If when you wake up and all you want to do is write, then you are a writer. I want to write every day. I want to turn what I love into a career. So in an effort to make that dream a reality, I present for the first time the first chapter of my book, Dead in her Tracks. Hope you enjoy and I'll see you again soon from my little corner.

Chapter One

Bang! Madison Pope woke with a start, confused.  She glanced around her studio apartment trying to get her bearings.  “Five o’clock… way too early.”  Madison threw herself backwards, while covering her eyes with her pillow.  “Two months in this city and I already can’t stand it.”

            Leaving her home in the Midwest had been one of the biggest decisions Madison had ever made.  Her parents weren’t exactly on board, but she had never backed down.  Moving to New York would allow her to start over, live a life without boundaries, and get a great start at her medical career.  Little did she know, she was the type of person that needed boundaries and nobody wanted to be friends with the girl from the Midwest.

 It’s not like I have the plague, for Pete’s sake. 

            Bang!  “This is ridiculous,” Madison mumbled from below her pillow.  Two months and she still didn’t know any of her neighbors.  Back home, things were completely different.  The day someone new moved in to the neighborhood, the families pulled together and had a welcome picnic.  Madison knew every neighbor’s story, their children and grandchildren, even their pets.  Not here.  Here, you were lucky if you got a head nod from a neighbor attached to a cell phone.

Bang! “Oh, for the love of everything that is holy, shut the hell up!!”  Madison threw her pillow across the room.  “People are trying to sleep!” 

She sat up and looked around her little apartment.  It wasn’t the smallest apartment she had looked at, but it was pretty close.  She felt like she could touch the kitchen from her bed, which was shoved in one corner, opposite the bathroom.  The living room was in the middle between her bed and the kitchen.  She loved her little living room for one reason.  The window behind her couch looked out over the city she had dreamed of living in for years.  She loved standing at that window, watching people walk down the street.

“God, I wish I liked coffee,” Madison said as she pushed herself out of bed.  As she headed for the bathroom, a knock at her door stopped her.  “Who is it?” she called as she walked towards the door.

“It’s the idiot who was banging,” a man’s voice called from the other side of the door.  Madison reached for her purple terrycloth robe as she looked through the peephole.   The man outside her door had striking green eyes that stood out from his hair the color of sunbeams.  He looks normal enough, she thought and reached for the chain. 

“Yes?” she asked more sharply than she meant to.  She saw that the man was only a few inches taller than her five foot six frame.  What he lacked in height he made up for in muscle with well-sculpted arms.

“I didn’t mean to wake you with all the banging.”

Madison sighed and decided manners would be best.  “Sorry I yelled. I usually don’t, but I was sleeping and the banging startled me.”

“No, I deserved to be yelled at.  I was moving furniture around and kept running into things.”

“Who moves furniture at five a.m.?” she asked, sounding more like herself and less like a caffeine-deprived lunatic.  Her question appeared to startle him, as he began to stumble over his words.

“I…well, my… I got this table…”

“Never mind,” she said as she stuck her hand up to stop him.  “Thank you for the apology, but if you could just try to refrain from moving furniture until after seven in the morning, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

He smiled at her, a kind of smile that made her want to back away a bit.  She hadn’t seen a smile that genuine in almost a year.  “No problem, Miss…” he said, waiting for her to fill in the blank.

“Pope. Madison Pope. And you are?”

“Craig Graham,” he said as he put out his hand.  She grasped it briefly, feeling a little uncomfortable standing in her bathrobe. 

“Well, Mr. Graham, it was a pleasure to meet you, even under the circumstances.  I guess I’ll see you around,” Madison said as she began to shut the door.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”  He smiled that same smile again as he backed out the door, this time leaving Madison even more astonished than before.  He had that charm that could knock a woman off her feet if she weren’t careful.  Too bad these feet are staying firmly planted, she mused.

As soon as the door was closed, Madison shook off the sleepiness still plaguing her and headed for the bathroom.  A hot shower sounded great, although she still couldn’t believe she was awake this early on a Saturday morning.   

            Bang! As she stepped out of the shower, Madison heard a sound similar to the one that had awakened her.  She smiled slightly, shook her head and glanced into the mirror.  As Madison brushed her long, wet, brown hair, her smile wavered. 

She gazed into the mirror as she dropped her brush to the counter, wondering if the scar was still visible on her chin.  She leaned a little closer, now staring into her own hazel eyes, flashes of that night coming in waves.  “Madison Danielle Pope, you need to get it together.”  The eyes staring back at her held no emotion or understanding.  Madison closed her eyes and shook her head, as if trying to clear her mind.  When she looked back in the mirror, she smiled a little.  “ ‘Atta girl,” she whispered.

*   *   *   *

            After her usual breakfast of pop tarts and orange juice and two hours of studying, Madison decided to head out into the city.  Her brain could not absorb any more anatomy at the moment and she wanted to go to the store and pick up a few new books to read.  It was about eight now, so stores should be open.  If not, she could walk around and explore some more. 

            Madison grabbed her sweater and headed toward the door, stopping only to grab her cell phone off her bedside table.  She walked into her hallway and almost tripped over a beautiful bouquet of roses.  “What the…? Where did these come from?” she asked aloud as she stooped to pick them up.  Madison looked for a card, but couldn’t find one.  One thought popped into her mind: Mr. Graham.  But he had no reason to send her flowers.  They had just met today and only because she yelled at him through the wall of the apartment.

            She swung her door back open and tossed the flowers on the coffee table near her front door.  As she locked her door, she couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious, like someone was watching her.  She looked around, up and down the hall but saw no one.  She breathed deep, letting it out slowly.  She couldn’t let the fear in, not again.  Madison turned on her heel and headed toward the elevator. 

*   *   *   *

            Madison stood in line at the bookstore, hands full of books, trying to retrieve her member card from her wallet.  After years in customer service, she understood how frustrated and unappreciated retail clerks felt.  She couldn’t count the number of times she waited for people to write out entire checks or count out change from a coin purse.  But her biggest pet peeve was a customer talking on their cell phone during a transaction. 

            Madison was waved to the next open cashier.  She handed over her books and card, just as her cell phone rang.  She grabbed it out of her purse, and seeing it was her mother, answered it quickly while shooting the cashier the most apologetic face she could muster.  The cashier smiled and nodded.

            “Mom, can I call you right back?”

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Nothing. I’m in line at the store. I’ll just be five minutes.”

            “Why are you at the store so early?”

            “Mom, I’ll call you back.”  Madison hung up.  “Sorry. She’s a talker.”

            The cashier just smiled again.  “You don’t sound like you’re from around here.”

            “No, I’m here for med school. I’m actually from Nebraska.”

            “Nebraska? So did you grow up on a farm?”

            Madison had to bite her tongue to stop her automatic, sarcastic response to that question which included a lesson on the anatomy of a cow.  This lady seemed sincerely interested.  “No. I grew up in a city. Not one anywhere near the size of Manhattan, but not on a farm.  Actually, I’ve only ridden a horse twice in my life.” 

            “Really? I thought all there was in that state was farms.  Well, I guess we do learn something new everyday, huh? Your total is $45.87.”

            Madison handed the woman her debit card.  “I guess it doesn’t help that all the commercials about Nebraska are usually about corn and cows,” she said with a laugh as she signed her receipt.

            “No, I guess not. Well, you have a good day, young lady.”

            “Thank you. You, too.”  Madison grabbed her bag and walked outside, dialing her mother as she opened the door.

            “Why are you up so early?”

            “Well, hello Mother, good morning to you too.”

            “Oh stop it. You hate getting up early for school. Why are you up on a Saturday morning?”

            “My neighbor was moving furniture at five a.m. I was not a happy girl, but I couldn’t get back to sleep. What’s up on the home front?”

            “Oh not much.  Your dad hurt his back again and is completely useless.  I ran into that friend of yours from high school.  The one with the blonde hair, skinny, kind of tall.”

            “Mom, I haven’t seen anyone from high school in, like, three years.  You got a name to go with that description?”

            “Well, if I knew her name I would have told you what it was. What store were you in? Do you have enough money to go shopping? Do you have food in the apartment? Maybe I should come visit.”

            “Mother, I love you, but you are suffocating me from half way across the country. Yes, I have money and yes I have food. I have only been gone two months. You really don’t have to come visit me. I’m great.” Liar. Madison figured a half-truth was best.  She did not need her parents coming to pick her up from medical school, like a kindergartener that can’t take the required nap.  How embarrassing would that be?

            “I just worry, that’s all. A mother can worry, you know, even if her little girl is all grown up.”

            “I know. It’s your job to worry so I don’t have to.  Plus, with all the vibes you're sending my way every time you worry, it’s almost like you’re here with me,” Madison said with a laugh.

            “You are a funny girl. Where did you get that sense of humor?”

            “Oh, Mama, you know you are the funniest person in the world. We all learn from you, Master.”

            “Smart ass,” her mother said, although Madison could hear the smile in her voice.

            “Why thank you.  So what made you call me this early if you were so certain I wouldn’t be awake?”

            “Well… it’s nothing really. Just local news but you don’t want to hear any of that.”

            Madison got a familiar feeling in her stomach, not one she particularly liked.  “Mom, what’s going on?”

            “It’s nothing. I just missed you, that’s all.”

            “That’s very sweet, but after twenty-three years, I do know when you are lying to me.  It’s about Brad, isn’t it?”

            Her mother’s hesitation was the only answer she really needed but she continued. “Yes. I’m sorry to bother you with this. I know you were finally beginning to get over everything that happened, but his family has started asking questions again.”

            “What?” Madison whispered.  “It’s been almost a year. Why can’t they just let him rest in peace? I told them everything I could remember. Why won’t they let it go?”  She couldn’t breathe.  She needed to find somewhere to sit down. 

            “Hey, I’m on your side.”

She realized her voice had risen to an inappropriate volume for this particular conversation.  Thank God this was New York and no one paid attention to what anyone else said while on the street.

            “I loved him, Mom.  I finally let someone break down the walls around my heart and I ended up burying him, literally.  I just wish I could remember.”  Madison took a couple deep breaths and looked around.  “Well, this has been an exciting conversation, but…”

            “I’m sorry. I just wanted to give you the heads up just in case they tried to contact you again.  Hopefully it’ll blow over and we can all move on.”

            “Thanks, Mom. I just wish it were finally over. I can’t live like this, always wondering what really happened. I just… I can’t talk about this anymore.”

            “Ok, sweetie. So what are your plans for the rest of the day?”  Madison smiled, thinking she had the best mother in the world.

            “I hadn’t really thought about it. I wasn’t planning on being up this early, so I might study for a few hours.  We’ll see how I feel, but I might even take a nap.”  Madison began to relax and sat back on the bench.

            “A nap sounds good. Oh, your father is calling me to help him out of the chair. Are you sure you’re okay?”

            “I’m fine. Tell Daddy to feel better and I’ll talk to you soon.”

            “I love you Madison.”

            Madison swallowed the tears that stung her eyes.  “I love you too, Mom.”  She closed her phone and leaned her head on the back of the bench.  She instinctively reached for her chin, rubbing the almost invisible scar.  Madison knew that Brad’s family had every right to ask questions, but she wished she had answers for herself. 

            Sitting on a bench was not going to help her situation.  Madison stood, grabbed her bag and headed home.  Curling up with a book in bed sounded like the best plan for a long day.

*   *   *   *

            Madison got inside her apartment and threw her purse on her grandmother’s antique dining table.  People used to complain that the chairs were too uncomfortable to sit in.  When her grandmother passed away, Madison had jumped to claim the table.  She loved the table, no matter how uncomfortable the chairs may be.  Besides, she only sat there to eat dinner. 

            Glancing at the clock, Madison decided she could read for a couple hours.  She changed into a pair of flannel pajama pants and a sweatshirt, then curled up in her armchair with her favorite quilt. 

Madison loved to read.  She was excited to get lost in someone else’s world every now and then, experiencing adventure from the comfort of her home. 

            This new book was a historical romance about a runaway princess who doesn’t remember who she is.  A knight rescues her from danger and a love develops.  She didn’t care how predictable these books were; she loved that people actually got to live happily ever after, no matter the differences or problems.  Sighing, she settled in for the long haul.

            The next time she glanced at the clock, she couldn’t believe the time.  She had been reading for three hours.  Madison put her book down, stretched, and got up.  After folding her quilt and changing back into her real clothes, she decided she needed to do laundry.  She was running out of clean clothes.  She grabbed quarters, her hamper, and her purse, locked her door and left. 

            The Laundromat was about a block away.  Madison arrived, started two loads of laundry so she wouldn’t compromise all the washers, and settled in to continue her book.  She glanced up when the bell sounded half an hour later, alerting patrons of someone’s arrival.  

            Madison had to take a second glance, and then let herself begin to smile.  “Mr. Graham? How are you?”

            “Please, call me Craig. Mr. Graham makes me sound old,” he said with a smile.

            His smile was somehow different from this morning, almost cold, but she brushed it away.  “Okay, Craig. What brings you here?”  Madison wished she could take back her ridiculous question as he loaded a washing machine.  “Right, sorry,” she said, embarrassed.  Trying to save face, Madison continued.  “Did you finish moving your furniture?”

            “My what? Oh, yeah, I finished.” Craig eyed her guardedly. 

            Madison wanted to continue the conversation, but decided against it.  She returned to her book, thinking something felt off.  Call it woman’s intuition, but Craig seemed almost nervous. 

            “So, what are you reading?” Craig asked, sounding calmer.

            “Just a book.”  Madison wanted to move farther left in her chair as Craig sat on her right, but she didn’t want to seem rude.

            “What kind of book?” he asked reaching for the book in her hands.

            She was saved from having to answer when her machines shut off.  She placed the book in her purse, making sure to mark her spot, and got up to put her clothes into the dryer and begin a new load in the washer.  She tried to avoid his gaze, but every time she glanced up, she saw him staring at her.

            “I know this is really out of the blue, but would you like to go to dinner tonight?” 

He sounded so anxious that Madison was forced to look up.  She had no intention of going anywhere with him, but she needed a nice way to tell him.  He was, after all, still her neighbor. 

“I actually am still getting over a relationship.  It’s probably not the best idea for me to get involved with anybody right now.”  That should do it, she thought.

“Bad break-up, huh? I’ve had a few of those.”

“Something like that.”  She wasn’t about to divulge any more information than she had to. 

Craig tried to make small talk while he and Madison waited for their laundry to finish.  To Madison’s delight, her laundry finished first, giving her a chance to leave.  As she stood to leave, Craig stood also.

“If you need anything, just let me know.” 

Madison was forced to look into his eyes.  She was filled with an anxiety that she had only ever felt once before.  “Thank you,” she said almost in a whisper as she grabbed her things and hurried to the door.

Once outside, Madison walked half a block, trying to lower her heart rate.  Something had definitely been off.  When she had looked into Craig’s eyes, she no longer felt the seeds of comfortable friendship that had been planted earlier this morning.  And she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had seen him somewhere before.

Well, here we go...

            For the longest time, I was anti-blog. I couldn’t imagine what so many people had to say that other really wanted to read. I know it sounds horrible but that was what I thought.  My best friend had to take an English Comp class and their medium was the blog. Really? It was just a little crazy to me. When I think English Comp I think long nights spent typing and re-typing the same sentence because you can’t get the flow just right. Or sitting there with ten pages of notes for one paragraph of work. Analyzing literature or writing a personal essay. Not blogging.

            But in the twenty-five or so months since my niece has been alive, I’ve learned through my sister that blogs aren’t just about whining and complaining about the world around us. You can build a community through blogs. And I know that’s why my sister started her own blog (see The Adventures of My Little Ladybug Girl). So maybe somebody who also has a person in their family with Down Syndrome can read my sister’s blog and feel that connection. I’ll be honest and say that before my niece was born I didn’t really think all that much about disabilities or people with special needs. It just wasn’t on my radar. But once Emery came into our lives, we all changed. I hope for the better.

            I hope we are all more aware of the people around us and how what we say can affect them. I hope that I’ve learned enough to understand that people with disabilities or special needs aren’t a class of people or a group that I just don’t think about. And I have discovered things about my sister that I never knew, the foremost being that she has taken on the role of advocate for Emery like she was born to it. And maybe she was. Maybe her whole life was heading to that moment in the hospital room when the doctors told her and my brother-in-law that Emery has Down Syndrome. I know she didn’t pick this life but I also know none of us would change one chromosome in Emery’s body. She wouldn’t be Emery then. And I also tell people that we’re lucky because there is just a little bit extra of Emery for us to love.

            I haven’t started this blog as another DS awareness blog or anything like that but because my niece does have DS it’ll definitely come up.  I decided to start writing this because writing is what I do, who I am. I want to publish my words and have other people read them. I want to leave something in this world when I’m gone. I’m not exactly sure how this all works yet since I was anti-blog for so long, but we’ll learn together. I do know that not only will I write about my life and the things going on in my world but I’ll post installments of the book I have written. So stay tuned for that and I look forward to sharing pieces from my little corner of the world.